tuck yourself into a quiet space and ride your breath in and out of your body,
the slow ebb and pull of life.
after long enough, you will become focus and breathing.
this is when you unfurl your heart,
reach down into the earth at your feet,
for it is always at your feet, even at the top of a tower,
and draw up the sweet green energy, juicy into every line of vein and nerve.
hold it at your heart.
make a levy there and let the wave wash and fill you.
with your breath now,
reach up into the overarching sky and let the gentle fizzing sweetness flow down and through you,
buzzing into every line of vein and nerve,
until it meets with the earth in your heart and together
they bind themselves to you,
so that you are filled with earth and sky,
so that you are a bead on the string between them.
- ***
(I've been running empty for too long.)
2 comments:
I know what you're thinking:
"She's pissed as hell and wants nothing to do with me. She completely ignored my email, and couldn't care any less."
Nope.
Google likes to be an ass sometimes and kicks me out and won't let me sign in. So, emails have been a little sketchy. So, I've resorted to having a black name and no email access for the past few days. What do you do?
Toujours, I am not mad. I'm not upset. I'm not going to pummel someone. Was I at first hurt? Yes. But I get over shit, and quickly. Was I at first stunned? Yes. But again...
I felt like everything we had built, we had a part in tearing down. The honesty, the trust, the friendship. I felt like it was all ripped out from under me that night. I don't think it was anyone's fault. I don't know the details about how everyone found out, but that's neither here nor there. I think Mayo made a huge mistake by letting any one person know and have them spread the word, but he was in his full rights to do that. But in doing so, look at the destruction it caused. Did he know that was going to happen? Probably. That's just what happens when there is a group situation. So, if any blame is cast by me, it's towards Mayo for being blind to the fact that things like this could happen. It's not cast on Ergo, you, SIM, DG, or any other person.
The reason I left Mayo's the other day was because of all the insults being thrown at certain posters. All of the accusations became way too much for me to handle, and I wanted no part in it. That's why I left. Not because I didn't want to talk to you guys and not because I was mad. I was upset that there were flaming daggers being thrown and name calling taking place. And it definitely shouldn't have been that way.
I do regret some of the things I said on here. I put myself on the line and my heart on the line to everyone. I feel that you and I e-bonded that one night and I DO NOT regret that. I needed someone that night and I am so happy that you were the person to be there. The other things I have said, I meant, but I just regret having said so much. But, I can't take any of it back.
So that's why I'm here. I'm here apologizing for what happened and anything I may have said that anyone took offense to. I did this at Mayo's so hopefully it won't get skipped, but I think it may have. My email is still open and just as soon as I can get it to work correctly, we can continue what we began.
I'm sorry this won't ever be the same. People claim that it will, but it won't. But, that's what happens with families. It's kinda like digging up old ghosts at Christmas dinners and everyone stays mad at each other until Easter, then it's all over with.
We'll get through it. It'll just take some time.
Love.
Mustard.
P.S. I'm gonna see if the blue name works.
IT WORKED!!!!
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