Friday, July 18, 2008

ashes, ashes...

there are so many nevers in my head tonight.
i am weary, even of myself,
and this incessant elation and despair.

nothing is real.
my heart is of no importance.

and if i could, i would, but i lost the trick of it a long time ago. my conscience is too clever; it worms in through the tiniest crack.

never mind.

i am only talking to myself.

3 comments:

farawaysoclose said...

hi there toujours. sorry you didn't get any news today. the waiting must be dreadful.

take care, my thoughts are with you.

lewishasfallensloppydead said...

Hiya TJ,

I am sorry you feel so horrible right now. You know we are feeling this with you. But, like I said, you carry us all-and we know you won't fall.

I dropped you a note. Waiting for your amused response. :P
-loves

Anonymous said...

Hey, TJ!

Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.

Like FASC said, the waiting is probably excruciating. I hope you get some good, relieving news sometime this week. :)

Take care of yourself.