- i've been of half a mind to not post here anymore. i don't have much to say, nor is blogbelieve any longer a place to bare one's soul. those days are in the past (and i am very grateful for them).
but it seems i have an embarrassing amount of loyalty to give. i belonged to this place in a way unlike anything else in my life. i still feel wholeheartedly that this was a special gift, of accident or fate, but one to which i will always owe a debt. i was seen. i was myself, wholly, and i was seen.
it was gratifying, and exhilarating, and not easy to let go of.
so, while there is not much to say anymore, i still feel the urge to speak. i accept that this most likely makes me a weak and foolish person. if i were stronger, i would walk away from the empty hallways, but i was tethered here, once, and the ghost of that thread still binds me.
it's okay.
there will come a day when it won't.
but i will never give up what i was given here, no matter how ridiculous that makes me, and though someday i'll stop sending good nights out into the emptiness, i'll never stop being toujours.
unrepentantly grateful, for all of it.
10 comments:
No matter what happens, you will always be Toujours to me too. And my friend.
Thank you for just being you.
Love,
Lisa
this morning was one of those mornings, the kind no amount of coffee can fix...and exactly the kind of day i needed to read what you just wrote.
thank you so much. ♥
You're welcome, TJ. It's how I feel. There are those I have met on the blog and in real life (you, Elena, Anima)and that will always be a part of me. It's been a long strange trip, but it's not at the end.
Hope you are having a good day, and take care of yourself.
Love,
Lisa
Even if I never see you again, wanted to let you know your posts were always a joy to read.
Wonder what it was about this particular part of the internet that inspired such loyalty. Hmm.
I think too much about things.
You can't get away TJ cos I've grabbed your ankles sweetie.
Thank you times 100 for the wonderful card and pressie. I will use it and think of you everytime I am engrossed in bookworld.
*Huge hugs and sloppy snogs. Wink wink, nudge nudge*
Hi TJ:)
Just popping in to say that I miss seeing your name over at M's. I've noticed that you're not around as often. I hope everything's fine with you and that you're just busy, you know how I worry:(
Take care
:)
welshie, don't worry! i'm glad you stopped by because i have no other way of talking to you, and i'm happy to see you. :)
unfortunately, i don't know how much i'll be chatting at the other blog anymore. now i don't want to go scaring you or anything, but i'd love to be able to get in touch with you like i can with the others. a blog, a twitter, an email address...? think about it, ok?
eich bod yn ddarn o heulwen disglair, ac nid oes arnaf eisiau colli cysylltiad รข chi! :)
I'm so glad that you're ok TJ. You had me a bit worried there.
Mae e-bost ar ei ffordd i chi.
Thanks TJ sweetie. We had a really nice time. We did soooooooooo much walking but made up for it by scoffing lots of fish and chips.
Hi TJ:) I'm having lots of problems with my computer so I'm not sure if my emails are getting through to you. I'll leave a comment here just in case.
It was good news at the hospital today. She got the all clear:)
I was a nervous wreck whilst sitting in the waiting room. You could actually hear my teeth chattering, seriously now, it made my sister laugh!
Speak to you soon.
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