- the waning moon at sunrise, cappuccinos after work, touching the gods at bedtime, and learning to say good night again.
petting other people's cats, churches on every corner instead of starbucks, wondering what car i'll end up with, trying not to get the accent and still saying "y'all".
being called "miss" by old men and "ma'am" by the rest, reading in the mornings while eating oatmeal, watching favorite old anime in the evenings, letting the teddy bear steal center stage sometimes, flirting with women in backseats, steel-etto nail polish and a waiting jar of purple hair dye.
laughing at work, the lingering sadness that sometimes shows up just before sleep, unremembered dreams, pen and lined paper, the magazine article they want but that i haven't figured out how to write yet.
striding through the little town with a city girl's pace, clomping along like a sore thumb, halfway back in the broom closet, and the co-worker who recognized it.
the promise of independence, the need to not waste time, saving up for the tattoos, wanting to be perfect, being too self-centered to ever be a good friend, loving the adventure of starting over again, deer running across the road and vultures perched on the peak of abandoned houses.
the suitcase i am still living out of.
prayers, and magic.
4 comments:
I came here to welcome you back and to say how much you were missed, but your post has just made me stop and catch my breath.
It just brought to the surface emotions I didn't even know I was trying to bury.
I just really, really like this one a lot. Kinda speechless right now.
aah TJ you write really well. it made me smile, a sad smile, but it is lovely to read your words again.
hope you are doing OK TJ. i know we are probably very different people in many ways, but there are definitely similarities there because i really do feel you sometimes.
♥
hey TJ!
i envy that you have travelled different places. i have never been to America, so that's a biggy! i have been round the UK and Ireland and the usual holiday destinations in Europe if you come from the UK, but that's about it.
well let's see if you make it back to England in the future. it will be exciting! just a warning, things are ridiculously priced at the moment! hopefully that will improve in the future.
take care and maybe catch you at mayo's sometime!
It's Me
I read on twitter about your sighting of two herons. They have many symbolisms depending on your faith/believes.
I like -- As a water creature the heron is also a symbol of going with the flow, and working with the elements of Mother nature rather than struggling against her.
Sometimes things in our lives are out of our immediate control. That does not mean we should not try and make our situation better, but maybe to try not to fight it so much. Some paths are longer than others....the end goal takes longer to get to.
Toujours, hang in there...keep going.
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