- there always comes a time in every group where i feel as though i have worn out my welcome. suddenly, i have been dismissed, or otherwise shelved, and i never know why, exactly. one day, sitting at the table, the next, watching through the glass.
i don't remember feeling this as a child, but somewhere around the onset of adolescence i began to know what it was to be alone in a crowd. typical, and i suppose i was meant to grow out of it, eventually, but it plagues me to this day.
and so i end up in the back seat again, or on the edge of the chat, smiling and pretending i've been included, or holding my head high and wearing the cold mask that lets you think i have never needed anyone, that i am content this way, that i am complete and entire to myself, self-sufficient.
eventually, no matter how entertaining or ingratiatingly pleasant i may be, i find myself in the corner, wondering why they don't really like me anymore.
best make a virtue of it. best pretend i'm my own best friend. best to be good at pretending.
after all, it's all just in my head, anyway.
26 comments:
eventually, no matter how entertaining or ingratiatingly pleasant i may be, i find myself in the corner, wondering why they don't really like me anymore.
I think everyone feels that way at sometimes in their life.It's not a good feeling.Im sure it's all in your head because everyone really likes you over at mayos and you are a friendly and sweet girl.Hope you feel better! Dont sweat it girl!!
TJ,
Unfortunately, sometimes I feel the exact same way you do, especially within my own family; even in school, when kids were too occupied hanging out with the cool kids or trying to make themselves "cool"
Even sometimes, I feel like the odd one out, even amongst a group of friends. You are not alone in this.
You have us. Who cares if it's the internet or not, we're here to help each other the best way we can. I hope you're okay, because from my assumption of this post, it doesn't sound like it.
*hugs*
Watching is not so bad. I always liked to doodle in the fog.
TJ,
You know that you can join me in my corner anytime, right?
Or at least wave to me from yours....
I'll come join you.
I hope you had a nice day at your new job.
Love,
S
Hey, are you okay?
I'm not good with this small chatty chat on here. I'm sending you an email, and I want you to 'fess up what's wrong.
-A
*waves to TJ*
I hope you have night full of amazing dreams.
You know you can make them all come true, right?
You can.
Love,
S
TJ,
I'm not sure what happened tonight, but whatever those anons had said to you, please don't let them affect you like that. They just say those things to get a rise out of you.
I do hope that your mood has improved, and even in times where you feel alone, sometimes in the scheme of things, you are really not. Sometimes there is someone there right alongside with you.
One good way that I deal with loneliness is taking some time for myself, such as writing or listening to music. Those are the things that help me deal when one of those "outcast moods" rears it's ugly head from time to time.
A lot of people like you. I know I do. You're a great friend.
Take care
And here's a small heart just for you. I think you deserve it
♥
I know.
And you know, I know you know, that it is not always so unbearable. And you know you will be alright.
...You know?
leave lewis alone, toujours. you may think you aren't obvious, but trust me, you are
haven't said a thing to lewis, anon, not at any blog. i may be "obvious", but you're mistaken in what you're assuming.
you probably hate lewis for stealing away your little online crush LOL. can't get any real life action huh?
i don't hate lewis at all. it was pretty clear for a bit that she was in some turmoil, and making those long anonymous comments. she knows i sympathise with the situation. she doesn't seem to be making those comments anymore, and i hope that means she's feeling better.
again, you're really reading the situation incorrectly. that's easy to do when there are so many anonymous comments. you should maybe re-read and try to come up with a new theory. you're missing the mark with this one.
"i think i like you redrum" uh k.
i only left the comment at 10:02, not the others. i won't belittle you, just letting you know.
What happened here?
TJ, there will be some days when we may not be feeling our best, or that we don't deserve the great things that life gives, but I truly meant what I said the other day.
You deserve the encouragement and the kind words, because you are a great person, no matter if you don't feel that way sometimes. Even when on days you don't feel that, what I said doesn't change anything. And it won't.
You deserve friendships, love, hugs, support, everything that your friends offer to you. I believe in the power of having friends; a second family. They're one of the best things to have in life.
♥
Hey Tj, wow.
I am sorry about all this. Was brought to my attention just now. I swear to you, I have nothing to do with any of this. You know me, if I had something to say, I would just say it. So I am sorry about this. It appears the harassment of Blog Believe likes to make the rounds. Thank you for what you said, I am doing jsut fine now. I hope you are too. Please ignore all this, I am trying to do the same as well. I hope you are good, talk with you sometime -loves l/d
lewis doesn't have anything to do with this. i am the one from 10:02 this morning. this is why i wanted to let you know that you are not as anon as you think
leave her be. you are still doing it
10:02/9:56, i appreciate that you wanted to be clear about not harassing me, that's very honorable of you. but you must understand, i'm not making anonymous comments to or about lewis.
i'm assuming you think it's me because they are in lowercase (am i guessing correctly which comments you are referring to?), but it's a simple matter to write that way, it's hardly unique to me.
lewis is my friend. if i have something to say to her, i do so directly, either on her blog or in an email. it's nice that you are concerned for her, but you and i are not on opposite sides in that. do you understand?
i am not trying to be rude, or snarky, i would just like you to understand. you seem to be a kind-hearted person, someone who is trying to defend a friend and not someone out to just make random attacks. if you were the latter, i wouldn't be talking with you.
but because you seem reasonable, i hope you will take a second look at things and understand that the conclusion you have reached isn't the only possible answer, and believe what i am telling you.
if it's not you, who do you think is attacking lewis? i do care about her. i will leave it at this. if you are her friend, then defend her.
unfortunately, blogbelieve seems to have more than it's fair share of anons who delight in petty maliciousness, and it could be any of those. i don't know anyone who has a problem with her otherwise.
and because these anons are basically trolls, i have learned that engaging them is the worst thing to do. lewis is my friend, and if what the anons are saying is hurting her, then i will gladly continue to offer her my support, all that she wants, but i won't argue with the anons on her behalf, or anyone's.
i'm sorry. i hope you can understand my position. i'm glad you are clearly someone who is on her side.
TJ, I know you probably don't remember me, I haven't been on in awhile. It was me that went to mayo's and told your friends to check on you because i was worried. Im glad you feel better.I hate anyone to feel that way.I guess it's the mother in me! Well keep your chin up darlin,and rest assured, you have alot of friends that care.
TJ,
I have to admit, the other day when that anon showed up and told us to check up on you, I was worried. I thought that something might have happened, so I came here right away after they posted to see if you're alright. I'm glad you were, despite the mood.
There are some days where I do agree that the blog family has changed, both good and bad. It's so different that it was last year, but I don't know, maybe we're growing.
But even so, don't let that stop you from giving your friendships a little TLC. I think a lot of us would like to stay friends and be each other's backbones when the days are both good, and not so good.
Everyone deserves to have someone who cares. You do too. I know it.
Why am I saying all of this? To be honest, for the past year, I did some soul-searching, a lot of thinking, and some growing up. It's amazing.
But more importantly, it's because I care. Don't let anyone make you feel that you're less important than others. You are just as important to us.
*hugs*
I hope you have a wonderful weekend :)
I haven't stopped by in ages. As Antonioni said, we are all islands at sea, gazing out at the other islands, hoping for some kind of a fascimile of connection.
Or something like that.
I hope the real world is less drama-full for you than it appears to be here.
*offers TJ a teddy bear for comfort*
You're welcome TJ. I'm glad you like it. I wish you a wonderful and pleasant day and week. And if there's anything you want to talk about, my blog is always open.
Take care and lots of hugs to you :)
Now I must be off to cut my toenails. One of them is so hideous looking, it made my eyes bulge in horror :p
Thanks. Interesting text.
If I ate them, would my fortune come true?
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