- someone's been rummaging around in my head, where i keep all the puzzle pieces that i haven't used yet. they've stirred them up, scooped them together, and tossed them in with the pieces i thought i had already fitted together.
or maybe it's just the aftereffects of a week-end overindulging in bad research. curiosity doesn't really ever kill the cat, you know, it just gives her a nasty hang-over.
in the past, when this place became a ground of shifting sands, i had the settled solidity of life outside to keep me centered, but now...
oh my.
i want to know that i'm helping. i'd like to know that there's a sequence to this. i wish to know eventually that we made a difference. i hope...
well, i have a lot of hopes.
and i hang on to my beliefs about this place because they're the only beliefs i have right now that make me feel worthwhile. everything else is up in the air and i don't know where they will fit when they land.
and i hope this doesn't make me a fool, and i hope that there's reality behind all these words, and i hope that this place where we meet in our heads and hearts isn't something i've made up wholecloth out of my head and heart.
and all that's left is to just keep on as i have been, jumbled or clear, fool or true.
5 comments:
i hear what you are saying toujours! and you say it very well might i add.
hope you are ok? crazy times for you.
also wanted to add that the updates were wonderful! i am loving the gothic!!
Hey, girly girl!
Just wanted to drop by and say "Hello!", and that I hope that all is going okay.
I thought of you when I was watching the Super Bowl. There was a commercial with a girl sitting in a cubicle in a dingy office. Her heart jumped out of her chest, and it ran down the hallway to her bosses' office and handed him a piece of paper that said "I QUIT!" The girl looks thrilled and it ends saying, "Follow your heart."
I quit a really horrific job once too, and it was the best decision I could have ever made. I mean, i was a neurotic mess when I did it, but it worked out great
So, just remember that everything happens for a reason, and everything works out in the end!
Love,
Dawn
P.S. Can I hide in your trunk when you drive to Bamboozle Left?
Hey, TJ,
Just a small note to let you know that J. and I both are glad we have got to know you and count you as not only our friend, but our Family. And FASC is right, you said it very well! We all hope that we're not just screaming into the wind. That we are making a difference. Sometimes you just wish someone would tell you if you are, one word, one line, one comment to say. But...
Pactum Serva.
Thank you for looking at my (L.) drawing and your words of advice. I will be e-mailing you shortly!
Love,
L. and J.
TJ,
I wish I had wrote it, but I didn't. It's from a Goo Goo Dolls song called Acoustic #3. I cry every single time I hear this song, and I got the album in 1998!
It really summed up how I was feeling the other day, and well, even now. I just don't know.
Ever feel like just sitting down and crying until you can't cry anymore and you're not even really sure why?
I just want...to sit down and cry.
L.
TJ,
I saw SDock's comment too. It seems like we all are a little battle weary, either from real life or in BlogBelieve or both.
I just want to know what to BELIEVE in both worlds.
And I don't know.
Sorry, I'm usually not this down. Like I said at Mayo's the other night, I'd never left a post about being "not strong". I've always been strong, always been the support.
I don't know. I hate feeling like this. For the FIRST time in 5 months, I just don't know what to say or do anymore.
Or if it makes any difference.
It does to our friends, and that's something I cherish. The friends we found in BlogBelieve.
L.
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