- i've been of half a mind to not post here anymore. i don't have much to say, nor is blogbelieve any longer a place to bare one's soul. those days are in the past (and i am very grateful for them).
but it seems i have an embarrassing amount of loyalty to give. i belonged to this place in a way unlike anything else in my life. i still feel wholeheartedly that this was a special gift, of accident or fate, but one to which i will always owe a debt. i was seen. i was myself, wholly, and i was seen.
it was gratifying, and exhilarating, and not easy to let go of.
so, while there is not much to say anymore, i still feel the urge to speak. i accept that this most likely makes me a weak and foolish person. if i were stronger, i would walk away from the empty hallways, but i was tethered here, once, and the ghost of that thread still binds me.
it's okay.
there will come a day when it won't.
but i will never give up what i was given here, no matter how ridiculous that makes me, and though someday i'll stop sending good nights out into the emptiness, i'll never stop being toujours.
unrepentantly grateful, for all of it.
