- it's uncertainty time again: no job, no place to stay beyond this week. my resources are thin on the ground.
i'm living with this weird mixture of despair and hope. i got myself into this situation, the failures of it are mine; i should have known i couldn't make it. but i also feel like if i can just somehow hang on, things will work out.
i am a pioneer of my own frontier, carving my way through the dark wood toward a new home, thinking longingly of the companionship and warmth of the friends in the world i left behind, hoping i can create a place for myself where i can be in contact with them again, but i can only keep on.
i can only go forward.
keep me in your thoughts and prayers as i go, my friends, and i'll write again from the next outpost (thank goodness for the pony express of the public library).
p.s. redrum, elena told me about your blog being gone. have you decided to say good-bye to blogbelieve? you know i'll miss you --- i consider you one of my close friends here in this made-up world. i always hoped we would become friends in the real one, too. but if you've decided it's time for you to go, all i can do is wish you well, and thank you for all your kindnesses to me. i'm glad i got to know you, and i hope i'll hear from you again sometime. take care of yourself, you're something special.
